Title: Tarnished Gold, Hollow Faith (1/1)
Author: Ms. AM
Email: ALMowry@pathway.net
Rating: R
Category: V
Spoilers: Everything is fair game.
Archive: ATXC, Ephemeral, Gossamer, Etc.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.
Author Notes: Spoilers and pictures seem to indicate that 
Scully does indeed have her cross at the beginning of 
season 8. I needed a reason and this is what I came up 
with. 


Tarnished Gold, Hollow Faith (1/1)


Can moments in time be categorized?

I believe they can. I've experienced them all. 

Some moments drag along so slowly you wonder if they're 
ever going to be over. Sometimes they slow just enough to 
bring you the clarity and focus you thought you had but 
didn't.

Some are normal, measured, nothing out of the ordinary. 
Finally there are those moments that speed by, when 
things happen so fast you almost wonder if they happened 
at all.

Those last ones, they are the moments hardest to recall. 
They are the memories that are the most difficult to 
bring into focus and usually the ones you'd, I'd, give 
anything to have again.

My sleep was anything but peaceful on the plane. I opened 
my eyes several times to see Skinner and the Gunmen 
looking at me with concern. 

They didn't want me to make this trip.

"Agent Scully, I think you should just take it easy. 
There has been a team sent they will go over the forest 
with a fine tooth comb. If there is anything, anything at 
all to find, they will find it."

"I know and understand that, sir, but I have to be there. 
Please."

And here I am on a flight to Oregon.

I must have been dreaming. I reach up and swipe at the 
few tears on my cheeks just as Skinner speaks; "You were 
saying his name, Scully. Would you like me to signal the 
stewardess? For some water or something?"

I take a slow breath to compose myself before answering, 
"No, thank you, sir. I'll be fine." 

My hand is shaking as I reach up to adjust the vent above 
my head. Skinner gently grasps my wrist and does it for 
me, my temper flares, "I'm not a invalid, sir. I'd 
appreciate not being treated like one."

I hastily unbuckle the lap belt and stand intending to go 
to the lavatory, the dizziness washes over me and I sway, 
unsteadily. Skinner reaches out, his hands landing one on 
my waist and the other at the small of my back. 

I flinch. It's like being doused with ice water, "Don't 
touch me!" I bark out, causing curious passengers to turn 
and look at me. Skinner drops his hands and I hurry down 
the aisle.

I don't have to turn around to know the Gunmen and 
Skinner are looking at each other with solemn, knowing 
eyes. Ensconced in the lavatory I splash cool water on my 
face and close my eyes trying to recall a fleeting moment 
in time.

* * * * *

Standing in the entryway of Mulder's bedroom, it's not 
the first, but it feels like this is one I will regret if 
I forget. Mulder is packing, ready to head back to 
Oregon.

He heads into his bathroom, I take in the unmade bed and 
am reminded of our relationship and it's recent turn.

Happy New Year, not here, but my apartment. Our first 
time together, it wasn't perfect. Our injuries, Mulder's 
shoulder especially, made it a little awkward, but it was 
special just the same.

The second time after I performed his mother's autopsy, I 
opened my body to him and he poured his grief into me. I 
welcomed it. I don't regret the form my comfort took.

A third time, angry and primal. He'd driven us both back 
to his apartment after I'd shown him the empty office I'd 
met Spender in, I'd barely closed the door when I was 
pinned against it by the length of his body.

His hands were swift, unbuckling and unzipping both his 
jeans and my trousers. Mulder ripped my blouse open, 
yanking the cups of my bra down so his eager fingers 
could pinch and twist my nipples before sliding my 
panties down my legs.

Naked from the waist down he lifted me, his breath was 
hot in my ear his words angry, scared and desperate the 
moment he plunged into me. 

"DON'T DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN, SCULLY!"

I turned my head away, but his lips sought mine out, as 
his thrusts grew more desperate. I clawed at his back 
when my orgasm tore threw me, his hips pumped erratically 
until he joined me in ecstasy.

Seemingly spent physically and emotionally he sank to his 
knees and I followed. It was just moments before he began 
reigning kisses all over my face and neck. His arms 
crushed me to him before his hands cupped my face, 
"Please, Scully...I, I can't lose you. You frightened me, 
what if..."

I silenced him with my lips and he groaned. I could feel 
him hardening inside me and my hips moved almost 
involuntarily, "Lie back," I told him.

And so the fourth time was right after the third, same 
location just from the door to the floor.

Perhaps it was the things Spender said to me, I really 
can't say, but I began having doubts about my life, where 
I was headed. If I was where I was supposed to be, maybe 
just the fact I had a sex life again was making me think 
of all the things I didn't have--a husband, a home, a 
family--children.

Daniel appeared and I confronted some demons, past 
demons, and I came away with the knowledge that I am with 
whom and where I'm supposed to be. Something I knew all 
along, but I guess I needed to reaffirm to myself that my 
feelings were right.

The fifth time was that night, the night Mulder covered 
me with a blanket. I woke and heard the shower running 
and went to him with a new freedom in me that I hadn't 
had previously.

I shed my clothing and stepped into the shower, he jumped 
slightly when my hands and body first made contact. 
Mulder turned in my arms and I spoke the words I'd been 
denying both of us.

"I love you, Mulder."

I don't think I've ever seen Mulder smile quite like he 
did, before kissing me and echoing my words.

The sixth time was just after he'd regained his strength 
from the larvae infecting his lungs. Coincidentally it 
was also at the premiere of that horrid movie in LA, we 
felt like a couple of teenagers making out in the Limo, 
but it was worth it. 

The seventh time and the last was planned, perhaps you 
could call it a date. A few beers and a movie, Caddyshack 
of all things, we didn't watch long.

"You don't need an excuse to get me over here, to make 
love, Mulder."

He tried acting hurt, "Why Scully are you insinuating 
that I'm trying to seduce you? I just wanted to watch a 
movie together."

"Ok, then, let's watch." I replied, but soon I was half-
naked, pleasuring myself and watching sweat roll down 
Mulder's face as he tried to ignore me.

I was so close to release when Mulder growled and grabbed 
my hand out of my pants, my fingers were wet with my 
desire and he licked them clean. My chest was heaving as 
he yanked my jeans and panties off and threw them across 
the room.

He kneeled on the floor and yanked my hips forward, his 
lips blazing a trail on my right thigh, before delving 
into my folds. I cried out as he sucked my clit, bringing 
on the climax that he denied me just a minute ago.

Small shudders were still rippling through me when I felt 
him hard and hot at my entrance. "Give it to me, Mulder," 
I panted.

"FUCK!" He cried out with his first stroke, his head 
dropped and he took a nipple into his mouth causing me to 
arch against him. He let go of my nipple and smiled at 
me. "You are a minx, Scully."

I laugh and give my hips a little swivel which brings a 
groan from both of us, "Shut up, Mulder and fuck me."

I could barely walk the next day.

"Scully?"

"Scully?"

"Scully? Are you ok?" Mulder is holding my arms, gently 
shaking me bringing out of my reverie. "Scully," he 
whispers, "You're crying."

I grasp his shirt, bunching the material in my fists, 
"Take me with you, Mulder. Please..."

He sighs and draws me into his embrace. "I can't Scully. 
I won't let you go back out there. I'm sorry." He kisses 
me, his lips warm and soft before pulling away.

His finger traces the necklace at my throat, "Don't 
worry, Scully. Have a little faith." He says a little 
wryly trying to lighten the mood.

"Ok." I reach back and unfasten my necklace. He starts to 
speak, to shake his head, but instead kneels down 
allowing me to place my cross around his neck.

As hollow as my faith has become recently, this is the 
one thing I haven't given up. Given to me by my mother 
and returned to me not once, but twice by Mulder, it's a 
token that seems to always come back to me.

I touch the cross, reverently, before kissing my waiting 
supplicant. He stands and walks over to the bed, grabbing 
his suitcase; "It's time to go, Scully."

The ride back to headquarters is silent.

Skinner along with the Frohike is standing outside the 
conference room. Frohike and Mulder share a handshake and 
I make out Mulder's whispered, "Watch over her, for me." 
I see Frohike nod and I know it's a promise he won't take 
lightly.

"Ready?" Skinner asks.

Mulder answers by picking up his suitcase and the two men 
turn and head down the hall. At the end Mulder pauses and 
turns, looking at me, I want to run into his arms, but I 
don't.

I see his lips moving, silently, but I can read them. "I 
love you, Scully." I mimic his words right back; it must 
be what he needed before he continued on his way.

"C'mon, Scully...let's go inside." Frohike encourages me, 
holding the door open to the conference room. I hear the 
door click and it sounds so loud, so final.

Byers and Langley have been waiting inside and they look 
at me, I push down my emotions and step toward the table 
and speak. 

"Let's get to work, boys and see if there's anything we 
missed."

* * * * *

Seven times. 

Seven wonderful times.

I unconsciously stroke my still flat stomach, which one 
of those times created you, I wonder?

All of them I decide. 

If not for the first there wouldn't have been any others. 
According to the sonogram I'm about 8 weeks along. Which 
would be one of our last two encounters, either in a Limo 
in LA or right on your fathers couch, floor, the bathroom 
vanity, or the bed...we did finally make it to bed that 
night.

The sky is gray here, I imagine the rain isn't far away. 

Skinner and the Gunmen have just waited while I search 
more like wandering around the area in the forest where 
Mulder was last seen.

Police tape stretches around the area, a few 
investigators still examining, taking samples of soil and 
whatever they find. I see a few with Geiger counters and 
a few with Haz-Mat suits on.

When I first stepped under the tape I felt a tingle run 
through my body, must be residual energy left over from 
the craft, I suppose. Hours have passed and I am feeling 
weak and tired, I end up reclining against a tree, my 
eyes shut, willing the feeling to pass.

When I open them a single beam of sunlight pierces the 
bleak sky. I squint as I look up, I see something 
glistening, dangling from a limb about 3 feet away.

I close the distance and with each step it becomes 
clearer and my heart despairs. I reach up and pluck it 
from the limb; the sun disappears, just like turning off 
a spotlight.

I sink to my knees.

I hear Skinner and the Gunmen running toward me. 

"Scully?"

"Scully?!"

"Are you ok?"

They crowd around me lifting me from the ground and 
supporting me, leading me back to the car. I see the 
questions in all their eyes, "Agent?" Skinner ventures.

I squeeze my hand tighter around my find. "Take me home, 
sir. Just...take me home."

I open my hand, looking at the tarnished gold. 

My necklace, my cross--my hollow faith.

The gold isn't glistening, it's blackened, but from what 
exactly? I use my fingernail to scrape at it, the residue 
accumulates against my flesh and I stop.

This was the last item to touch Mulder's skin. Somehow I 
found it, while no one else had. I was meant to, in one 
moment I was shown the way.

It can be clean again. As shiny and as golden as it once 
was.

I will wear it. 

I will be wearing it when I find you Mulder.

I won't give up, ever.


The End...