Title: "Heart, We Will Forget Him" Author: Trinity Feedback: trinity_1013@xfilesfan.com Rating: PG-13 Category: VRA Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance Spoilers: Requiem/Within/Without Summary: It's been twenty-six years. Mulder never returned home. How does one forget the only love their heart has ever known? Distribution: Gossamer, Ephemeral, 2001 Spooky's - NO ARCHIVE. I'll submit directly to all three myself. Anywhere else, feel free, just e-mail me at some point so I can visit. Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully aren't mine. Unfortunately, they belong to Chris Carter, although I'm usually nicer to them than he is. The title for this story comes from a piece of choral music from the William Hall Chorale composed by James Mulholland, and adapted from an Emily Dickenson poem of the same title. Dedication: For Sarah Visit my website!! Trinity's Tales: X-Files Fan Fiction http://trinity1121.tripod.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ "Heart, we will forget him. We will forget him You and I tonight. You may forget the warmth he gave I will forget the light. When you have done please tell me That I may straight begin. Haste! Lest while you're lagging, I remember him. Heart! We will forget him. We will forget him You and I tonight. Heart! We will forget him Forget him... I remember him... Heart..." "Heart, We Will Forget Him" ~Emily Dickenson ~~ ~~ "HEART, WE WILL FORGET HIM" ~ ~ November 20, 2026 "I heard once that a woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets. I never really knew how true that was until I met you. I trusted you implicitly, but there were some things that I simply couldn't bring myself to tell you - no matter how much I wanted to. Even after we came to our senses and stopped denying ourselves I simply couldn't admit to you how much I needed you. You knew I loved you, I had no problem telling you that - but when it came to telling you that I thrived on you, that you were as essential to me as oxygen... I just couldn't do it. I regret that so much, Mulder. It's been twenty-six years. You'd think I would let it go already, but I can't. Why didn't you come home, Mulder? I searched everywhere, followed every possible lead, but nothing came of any of it. Why didn't you come home? You've missed so much. There are days that I weep for the past and for all the experiences that I wish I could have shared with you. Most recently - our daughter's wedding. That's right, our daughter. I was pregnant the night we made love on your couch, with a gopher's antics in the background and your lips still slick with butter. I was pregnant the night you held me in Bellefleur and told me there was more I needed to do with my life; and I was pregnant the night you kissed me goodbye and walked out of my life forever. I don't blame you - I want you to know that. I know that if we'd had even the slightest idea that I was pregnant - you never would have left. She was born January 25, 2001. Alissa Hope Mulder. You wouldn't believe the fight I had to put up for her to have your last name. Alissa means "Truth" in Greek. Hope should self-explanatory. And today, November 20, 2026, I watched her get married. She knows what a wonderful person her father was. Today as I was adjusting her veil she took my hands in hers and told me that she wished you were here. I smiled, kissed her hand and told her that you *were*; that I've been able to see you shining through her since the day she was born. It's the main reason that I haven't been able to forget you. After the X-Files were shut down, this time for good, in 2002 - I lost all FBI resources to look for you. I never really stopped looking - but after ten years passed... all my hope was gone. I've been lonely. Alissa calls nearly every day, but she and her husband, God - I'm not used to that yet - are moving to San Francisco tomorrow. Charlie, who I finally persuaded to get a netcam, and I exchange v-mail... but Mom died six years ago, and in her I lost the only confidante who truly knew the depth of my love for you. It seems like everyone is dying. Skinner, who miraculously made it all the way to Director, was buried in a touching ceremony just six months ago. I read in the paper that our good friend Kersh had died. But I somehow didn't care. Are you dead, Mulder? As horrible as it sounds - I would almost feel better if you were. Mainly because I can't imagine being held captive for twenty-six years, and because I can't stand not knowing. If I knew you were dead, at least I could mourn... but the not knowing is killing me. I've never married, you know. I went on one date when Alissa was three. The mother of one of her friend's fixed me up with her brother, or cousin... I don't really remember. I hated every minute of it. Afterward, I came home, sat in the rocking chair next to Alissa's little bed and cried. I left the FBI after they shut down the X-Files. Alissa still makes fun of me for basically becoming the fourth Gunman. The guys and I spent a lot of time looking for you, and I consoled Frohike over more than one cup of coffee. They're still together, if you can believe it, and doing fine. They've been a wonderful support system, and Alissa has had no shortage of men in her life. But, not a day goes by that I don't wish she'd had a father. Come home, Mulder... please? Just... come home." Sighing, Scully closed her journal and removed her glasses. She rose slowly from the old, worn leather couch and crossed the room to the window. Glancing at the clock above the fireplace, she was not at all surprised to see that it was 11:21pm. She unlatched the window and gently pushed it open. The sky was a starry black canvas, just as it was every other night. She raised her hand to her lips and blew a kiss into the dark, whispering: "Goodnight, my love." ~~~ END ~~~ Trinity's Tales: X-Files Fan Fiction http://trinity1121.tripod.com Join my mailing list http://www.egroups.com/group/trinity1121