Title: Feeding Fish
Author: SueBee
E-mail: SueBeePhile@aol.com
Summary: Scully's views on the desk
Classification: V, A, MSR, Scully POV
Spoilers: Season 8 through "Patience"
Rating: PG
Archive: Yes to Spooky's, Gossamer,
and anyone else who might want it.
If possible, just drop me a line and
let me know where it is going.
Feedback: Yes, please!
Disclaimer: Not mine
Author's notes: If you like this vignette,
please visit my other fanfiction at
Visit SueBee's X-Files Fanfiction
http://www.crosswinds.net/~suebeephile/

Thanks to KL for beta!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I gave Agent Doggett a desk.  

You never gave me one.

At first, I thought it was because you didn't want me 
to invade your space, your work, or your office. Now, 
I know better.  

Hindsight is 20/20 after all.

Never was there a moment when you and I didn't 
share the same space.  I can still feel the soft huffs 
of air on my face every time you leaned in to tell me 
a theory. I can feel the palpable heat that emanated 
from you like a second skin.  We always stood closer 
then most would consider comfortable, didn't we?

As for your work, I've accepted it as my work too.  
In the beginning, I analyzed you, your theories, and 
your investigative skills.  I used every scientific 
approach imaginable to figure it all out.  

What did I know?

I was willing to travel the journey with you, but I 
was never willing to just believe.

I believe now.  I always believed in you, Mulder, but 
now I see what you see. There is no more denial because 
I have seen too much not to accept what really happened
to you.

As for the office, well, that's just a room.  I'll use it
for work and so will Agent Doggett.

Let him have the desk.

My real job starts every night when I get home.  
That's when I start searching for you all over again.  

I will find you.

They don't know how consumed I am with my search for
you.  I put your name plate away so I can concentrate 
on the X-Files during the day.  Not that it helps.  
It doesn't really.  

They think I've moved on.  

Now, what do they know?

They don't know that I think of you every moment. 
I visit your apartment every other night just to sleep 
in the bed where we made love.  I can still smell you on 
the sheets.  I do all I can to feel surrounded by you. I 
need you on the outside to complete the part of you 
that I have on the inside. 

I think of the life we created and do my best to keep it 
safe.  Only Skinner knows our secret.

I'll find you soon, Mulder.  Trust in that.

For now, let them think I'm just feeding the fish.


The End